hope...

today is the first day in over a month where my heart doesn't feel so heavy
where i actually smiled instead of cried and even shared a laugh. Today I feel that
there is at least for the present time hope for us, our future, ourselves.

Hope to me means something you look forward to. That somehow, someway, the darkness
will eventually subside and light will shine in. It will awaken us and make us aware of it's presence. There is hope in everything we do, every little thing brings us that much closer to
getting through. Notice i didn't say getting over, there is no getting over this. But I just realized that I don't have to be down all the time, i can smile at the little things that come into my day to give me that much peace.

I was reminded today as i said, "I don't want to wait" -due to waiting for good news to come our
way after a solid few months of bad news that God will make everything alright. But, he does it..
In HIS time, not ours. So for now, I will have to wait and hope for God's miracles to see us through but as they say, he doesn't put us through anything we can't handle. He gives us these
experiences and we ask why? well, maybe he takes us through it so we can be of help to others
who are or will go through the very same thing. I have met a few friends and I am So glad that they are here in a time i need it most, but also a little sad because we prolly wouldn't have met if we didn't share the same tragic experience.

I can only do what i can to make myself a little better every day. a smile here, a kind word, just sharing what helped me a little bit, and enjoying the sunshine because that can make anyone feel good .

So, here's to hoping...for the best
steph